My inspiration to this post is me listening to Lupe Fiasco's new album "Food and Liquor". The reason for this is because this is possibly that one or two rap albums that I buy each year. Which is not a lot for such a big "music lover". But the truth is I don't really like a lot of rap. BUT there is something about a cd that actually does reach me. Something that hits me both intellectually, emotionally, and aestitically. Its this reason why music seems to have such a big part of my life. And I think its this reason why so many black males my age live and breath hip hop. It has everything to do with how I relate to people and things. Now the point I'm getting at is....Can I really ever TRULY relate to anybody who is not on that same tip? And when i say "anybody" i mean a girl. I ask myself every so often, "is music really THAT important to you?". Honestly it really might be. I'm trying to figure out why and how its become that way for me. I honestly think, that as Black people, we relate to each other through music. I hesitated before typing that. I wasn't sure if that was true. But in retrospect EVERY single memory i have of my extended family has some sort of music in it. I think this kind of explains why when Black people party....We dance. When white people party...they drink. My first night of college I may never have gone to a BIG party before....But I did know I if I had a choice of the party behind the house with people standing around drinking....Or that party with the house rockin' to the music I'd want the music.

Could I chill with a girl who doesn't have this same feeling about music, or MY music? I don't even mean just like she listens to Slipknot or something and I listen to Nas. I mean her luvin' her some Franchise Boyz and well....me not. I think what people get out of music kind of reflects who they are as a person and how they think.

Its funny how relationships work. I took a "Movies in Hollywood" class that explored Fight Club and the fact that its "homosocial" (along with spitting all sorts of stuff on capitalism). I was once counseling a friend on a girl of his and she essentially "wasn't on his level" according to him. Me and him though were able to relate on a deeper wavelength. This was the basis of him acutally being a FRIEND. Now since neither of are gay obvoiusely no relationship is coming from that. But if a girl isn't there (when theoretically it should be AT LEAST on that level if not greater) why should he continue it. When I said that to him (coming to the realization almost at the same moment) I think that actually is what changed my perspective on girls. If I can't relate to a girl on the same level as I can my bestest best friend and this is the chick I"m spending most of my socializing waking hours with then that relationship, whether it is romantic with a girl, or even social (with a guy) is destined to never get past a certain level just because its simply not possible. Its like one person diving in the deep end, the other in the shallow end, then expecting to give each other a high five under water. Your bound to have to meet each other at 4 ft instead of 14. But you miss out on the fun the other 10 ft. provides. After a certain point...you wonder when you can play in that other 10 ft. The more you can't the more you wonder about it.

If i were to grade this post I would say it is unorganized and "all over the place". Ironically, it began because of how I think of music intellectually. And relates because the females I related to the most...Had similar music tastes.

I think one of the things that I have appreciated about blogging is that it has enabled me to be completely honest with myself in a quasi public setting. I think i've admitted a number of things to myself in my blog that I may or may not have to someone in "real life". Or at least wasn't ready to admit. So through this it has actually enabled me to continue my own personal growth which I am always trying to achieve.

So here's another realization about myself... I don't do ANYTHING unless I see there is an immiediete point to it. I'm pretty sure I've always been this way. I've always wondered whether I was lazy at certain times... But no...i'm not lazy at all because I am quite easily able to motivatte myself to do many a thing. But i think the main thing is that I am VERY goal driven. In my own head there are very few things that bother me (maybe the only one being people blowing their nose) and infact I refuse to let things or people really grate on me enough that I make an action that acknowledges it. (another flaw... i will be the first one to tell you I REALLY don't like to be told what to do...And infact will do the exact opposite if come at the wrong way) The point is that I sit here and my room is amazingly messy right now. Now anyone who has been in any of my college dorm rooms will pretty much assume its busines as usual for big hak. But thinking back to those days I also know that whenever I had a reason (basically girls or parents) to clean I would quickly perpetrate myself as the next Martha Stewart. Infact... It was well known by every roommate, suitemate, and apartment mate when Hak busted out the vacume "some b!*ches were comin through".

I'm beginning to believe that this is the true reason why things in my life go and have gone the way they have. Whether its high school where I essentially didn't (didn't really need to) put out much effort except for test time( even then mostly because I was in competition with somebody) Even in college where the immiediete is even more immediete I essentially just enjoyed being naturally smart until the time came when I actually had to REALLY grind.

Infact i don't even talk to girls for an extended period of time unless they for some reason serve some purpose in expanding or enriching my life. I recently was talking to a female about "making friends" and how I found it odd when guys give me their number essentially cuz they think i'm cool. (no homo...i don't think) My thought on it was "i'm 23...I'm done finding friends. Im good with the ones i got". She on the other hand was all about it. This is essentially my mindest on a lot of things. I don't think this is a good thing. On one hand I desperately want to expand my mind and become a better person but on the other hand I think I'm a bit caught up in my own concietedness of "The great bighak". I never have thought I was concieted until this moment and I don't think there's anything wrong with having confidence in yourself and who you are. But unless you/i allow my mind to grow past doing things for my own immiediete benefit there's a good chance I'm going to miss out on becoming the person I'd like to be in the long run.

I have a big fear of becoming Tom Cruise....Essentially somebody who has gotten to the point where he thinks he's the single smartess and greatess person on earth...Because nobody has checked him in years. So this is kinda like a mental check for myself. Cuz if I don't do it who will? Certainly not my non-existant girlfriend. I think I've gotten to the point now where I almost NEED to be around people who can tell me i'm wrong and counter my views because I'm definetely at the point where I am THIS close to thinking I'm right 99.9% of the time. And that's not a good thing. Over the past year or two I've experienced a lot of personal success but also a couple big disappointments and with each success, whether its a job, me winning an argument, having girls seemingly fawn over me or just people appreciate me for being me, I think my confidence has gotten to the point where instead of an ego stroke...I need a ego smack. Just so I stay in reality. Actually...Imma save that ego smack till AFTER i can actually have a gf.....

It seems that i have been neglecting my civic duty to blog at least a couple times a week. I WOULD like to make the excuse that its because I just strted a new job and I "haven't had the time" but I'd be lying both to you...My public. And to myself. So because of this I'm sure this will be an extremely long blog because I debated doing the usual structured blog about one sole subject. Well...I feel in a rambling mood.

A question? Do we like older songs because of the memory of them? Or because we just actually like them? While listening to my ipod on my computer I saw a link on itune's of "songs from the 90's" and me having experienced most of my waking years during that time, I was furiously clicking reliving those songs. And I absolutely loved like 90% of them. If i did that for now... I'm pretty sure i would listen to maybe 10 of the 100 (exaggeration? it really might not be). Having said that when listening to those songs they also brought memories to me like "Back that thang up" (i know...not 90's but early 2000's) brings back memories of my beginnings freakin every girl in sight at the Hammond High freak-a-thon...I mean Back to School dance. If anyone has ever taken psychology you would be familiar with Pavlov and his dogs. Basically dude rang a bell and that was a cue that it was time for the dogs to eat. Then after he took away the food after a few sessions the dogs would still salivate for the food when the bell was hit. You may feel free to make whatever connections to me in high school (ie. freaking girls, dogs, salivating/drooling, "food") you would like.

What Im saying is that these are good memories. BUT... My musical tastes have without a doubt changed and grown from those times. I actually LIKED "country grammer" when it first came out. There is next to zero chance i like ANY nelly song that comes out now. Not to mention some random booty shakin song. (Although...in my defense the radio was not nearly as saturated with booty songs as it is not) Maybe one day i'll do a blog on my musical evolution.

Anyway... Other songs on the list brought back connotations to whatever lil girl I had a silent crush on at the time, a road trip my family took, random argument I had with my big sister or friend. So the question I pose is...Was music really better when I was younger (90's) then now? No...i'm not talking about Nelly...Although... it WAS "different". Were was the days of the shiny suit revolution (Puff Daddy and the Family) better than the current days of Snappin rap of all sorts and whatever 50 cent tells us to listen to? Or forget rap...How about Is Chris Brown singing "gimmie that" and krumpin' better than R. Kelly and...ANY song he did in the 90's? I think i know the answer to this... But I like to check myself as a person every so often just to make sure I don't end up like Tom Cruise saying there's no such thing as depression.

On the new job.... Its something i've expierenced once before when I was a trainer for the track team... But its a really different feeling to work with other Black people. After just leaving a job in which i got along with everyone tremendously and really had a lot of fun there is nothing like being around a group of Black people to make you feel immiedetly comfortable. Having spent most of my life around white people I'm more then comfortable talking to, chillin with, just general being around white people, but it still amazes me how I can IMMIEDETELY be comfortable talking to someone with skin the same color as mine. Its not big things that anybody other then the people involved would see or notice, but little things like, a incredibly random reference to the Steve Harvey show (seriously... you can't tell me most white people even knew there WAS a steve harvey show not to mention the middle name of Cedric (the entertainer) wife. In the long run I might still end up hating them. But on a kinda quasi (but not quite) shallow level it really makes a difference.

I kind of wonder whether its the same for white folks sometimes. Whether they have a big feeling of comfortablity while around other white folks instead of those of other pesky races. Then of course as soon as I typed that statement and realized that although i'm sure that is of course the case on some level. White people are ALWAYS around other caucasians. Its one reason why so many do feel uncomfortable around alot of Black people or just minorities in general. As a Black person, an experience around alot of Black people especially in a work enviornement is a unique experience and situation (even if the job IS in chocolate city).

Out of every "black/racial" themed book I've read, for some reason the book that hit the "black experience" on the head the most was a book by W.E.B. Dubois where he described what was essentially a dichotomy (duality or two-facedness) of being a Black person. Its the kind of duality that in one interview I can engender myself to a boss by telling a story of a white girl trying to screw me out of a project for debatedly racial reasons then being intimidated when confronted. But then in another interview immiedetely connect with the interviwer over Maxim and Angelina Joli. (Yes...i realize those are all random intervew subjects...What can i say, i have amazing interview skills)

The point is that both parts are still me, i'm not fakin', posing or pretending, just identifying with the person i'm talking to. There is no doubt in my mind that it is easier to find ways identify with another black person but that's not to say you can't and won't more with a white person. But the difference between me, as a black person, and a white person is that I DO have to have these different parts to me. But one side (guess which side) has to lay dormant most of the time . Not having that side be "dormant" where I spend most of my lighted hours makes a big difference in the comfortability of my everyday life.

And once again...I became bored with my own writing so whatever i was thinking about saying earlier when i first started typing....I forgot either because Flavor of Love came on or became distracted by aim conversation... Oh well

Things I'm going to do with my newfound wealth:

1. At least one pair of jordan's... PrEferably the 14's. But i'm still Not payIng 100 buckS for them.

2. Pinky and the Brain dvd

3. A 2005 Maxima or a 2003 Audi Quattro or TT

4. A pinky ring (pimp reference)

5. A nice shirt

6. Some clean drawles

7. A redskins, wizards and oriole's hat

8. Hooker

9. Go to a comedy club

10. Tickets to a redskins game

11. Tickets to a wizards game

12. One of the new advanced gaming systems coming out... I"m trying to hold off on the xbox 360...OR maybe just my ps2 fixed

13. A basketball

14. A system for my car...If i don't get a car

15. A watch

16. Some fronts

17. Colored contacts

18. A white tiger

19. A midget

20. 2 Hookers

















Penis

A Change Gone Come... That's the name of a song by Sam Cooke and one of my favorite songs ever whiich also serves to kinda remind me how life is so circular and things constantly change and eventualy things get better. For every negative there's a positive. I finally got a job. It actually disturbs me just how much that fact has actually meant deep down to me. After finding out on friday suddenly I can walk up to a girl and not have to worry about the inevitable question "so what do you do" and i don't have to give the bs answer "i just graduated a few months ago". I don't think it was a major source eating away at my self confidnce, but when i think about my mindset now compared to say....a week ago there's a considerable difference even if i never bring it up. That one change in my life gives me the ability to live on my own (comfortably) along with do so many of the things I've wanted to do for myself and those i care about.

Its weird that there are times when I can swear that i'm psychic because a few months ago there was a "feeling" i had that my life would change. Not just in terms of a job, but females, my own mental health and my family. At this point I think i'm just at the tip of the iceberg with a new job, numbers, my parents talking about moving to the desert, and my sister going to have another baby.... I can very quickly see my childhood zooming away in the rear view mirror. Right now i'm holding on by a string to lil hak.

I would also just like to mention that I have gotten EVERY SINGLE job I've ever actually interviewed for. Whether i've taken each is another story. But I think now that i'm actually in the "real world" that has got to say something either about my ability to lie with a straight face, or sweet talk both males and females (yes...males and females i'm not gettin on my knees for no dudes but saying "yo son...you got some nice eyes" goes a long way to a job) Still though...11 job interviews 11 offers. That settles it..I'm the most likeable guy on the face of the earth. Be happy you know me.


Soon to come...a list of things i'm buying with my newfound richness

Here's a totally non- thoughtful blog:
My favorite songs....

You got me- The Roots and Erykah Badu: Yes...i also just HAPPEN to be listening to it on my ipod... But it is also one of my top 10 songs ever due to the richness of instrumentals, the storytelling dynamic between Black Thought and Ms. Badu. Seriously this was like the biggest "neo-soulish" song to ever come out. Oh yes and lets not forget began Erykah's trend of making previously sane people insane continuing with Common (for about a 5 yr span dude had a headwrap, toga and the album Electric circus was the craziest piece of business i've heard behind.... The Love Below... Yes....Erykah Badu messed up Andre 3000's mind too. He was still rapping on Stankonia. By the time she got rid of him he was wearing platform shoes and was singing to people about their sh*t not stinking).

If I ruled the World: Nas feat. Lauren Hill: I'll be honest... I like my rap mellowed out with a r&b singer on the track. Sure its not the most gangsta thing in the world to prefer but who needs to be gangsta if you got a 10 inch dick? Anyway besides Lauren's part I have always really felt Nas' "dream" of what the world should be. And adding her voice to his words kinda makes you FEEL him and the vibe of the song. I could legitametly imagine Rosa Parks walking along snowden river parkway with a line of almost free slaves singing it. (Too far? ok...maybe)

"Sleeping in my Bed"- Dru Hill: Anybody who knows me KNOWS this was coming. May be my favorite song of all time. And lets not to mention who can't love the video where we find out who's been "sleeping in sisqo's bed"...ANOTHER GIRL!!! Ah.... That one rocked my 13 yr old world. Besides that when listening to that song i genuinly believe Sisqo had actually found a girl in his bed sleeping with his woman. Listen to that song... You can feel his pain with every consonant uttered. If i listen to this song at the wrong time there are times i may be brought to an occasional tear and possibly a sniffle. Oh yes...and i totally forgot about the remix. That and the Lets Get Married Remix are like my two favorite r&b remixes ever...

5 Steps- Dru Hill: I like Dru Hill.... I loved this song even before i knew it was Dru Hill. I think there are actually home video's of me singing this song around the house as a 12 or 13 yr old. That...and the Lion King.

No Diggity- Blackstreet: The first time I actually heard this song was when my mom brought home the music video (we weren't allowed to watch mtv/bet) because she was supposed to make up a "school anthem" to that beat/song. But despite hearing the song about 50 times in one night...I love it to this day. Oh yeah AND there was a brief appearance by Lil Penny in this video. Or maybe it was just some dolls being Blackstreet, but because all black bobble head dolls look alike I think it was Lil Penny. Whatever...

Your All I Need- Method Man and Mary J: Probably thought of as the best Hip-hop/r&b collabo in history this one of course makes my list. I can't really even think of a song like it up till that point. And nowaday's like every other song on the radio is a sad sad clone. First off Method Man's flow is works perfectly with how smooth and playerish he spits each verse. But still somehow it remains grimy and masculine (compared to lets say...Chingy and Tyrese...Tyrese's part is hot but Chingy sounds like a lil kid who's constipated.)

Smooth Criminal- Micheal Jackson: Its a given that MJ was gonna be up on here. In an effort not to put 10 of his songs on here this is PROBABLY my favorite one. This is another one that the video probably helps when i think about this song. This is my singular most favoritist (i know that's not a word) of all time. Yes...more than thriller, bad or any other video. I don't know if i can fully describe how gangsta I thought dude was. Sure i was 5 but I was this close to sleeping in my one white glitter glove every night.

Hard Knock Life- Jay-Z: Maybe its because i had to watch the movie Annie while my mom did my older sister's hair all the time when i was really young. Or its because the hook really applies to life in the city. Seroiusly though i think this is probably Jay-Z's best song when taking into account lyrics, hook, message and flow. And all this combined with it actually sounding good.

Living in the City- Stevie Wonder: My favorite song not made while I was on this earth. This is actually a pretty conscious song but there's something about the way its sung that REALLY makes me feel this. He's just not singing the words he's crying the words. FEEEELIN' it. I guess when it comes to music it should be obvious by now that things that i like are things that really touch me either mentally, physically or emotionally. Or a combination of all three...Such as this song.

Pony- Ginuwine: Ok....I wanna be a stripper. Suck my dick

Ready or Not- The Fugee's: "I'll be defecatin on yo microphone like nina simone" Lauren Hill is like that nastiest (in a good way...forget about the defecating part) female mc possibly ever). Who cares that Pras was like the most forgettable member of the group, Wyclef was even spittin some fire on the track. And lets not forget the unforgettable hook. Which by itself can also signal to your girl your about to go to sleep........

Slippin'- DMX: The first song on this list where nobody's singing... What most people don't know about me is that I used to have a thing for DMX (no karamo). I think he was actually one of the first cd's i ever brought (and hid from my mom). This song is actually pretty dark but the feel and lyrics of it give you a deep understanding of his mindset as a lil "dog" comin up.... (on crack) I guess you could say this is the aggressive, slightly confrontational side of me that rarely comes out (unless i'm competing for something).

Ordinary People- John Legend: The newest song on this list by far. If I was ever to compose a song...This would be it...Except with a violin instead of a piano (semantics semantics) Remember how i said I "feel" music...This is like the epitome of it to me.

Freakin' you (remix)- Jodeci: Cuz i'm a freak. And KC and Jo jo are even bigger ones....

Just missed: "My Way"- Usher, "Thug Love"- Tupac feat. bone thugz, "Crossroads"- Bone Thugs, Notorious Thugs- Biggie feat. Bone thugs, Nothin Matters- Lauryn Hill feat. D'Angelo, Ether- Nas, Humpty Dance- Digital Underground (i'm soooo serious) Jodeci- Lately, London Bridge- Fergie (just kidding)

I guess i'm in need of some more therapy....So to my blog I come.

I would probably say i have a number of things on my mind but lets just focus on the most interesting (for other people).

That of course would be females...
Now for me it is a very rare occasion when I can't tell what a person is thinking by their actions, words, body language, all of that. I infact pride myself on my perceptivness. Of course I didn't really realize how much I rely on this until suddenly I can't do it for somebody. I'm not really the kind of person who asks for advice from people or searches top to bottom to understand a person's (female) actions. Infact besides a few choice words from close friends I almost always act soley on my own thoughts. Having said that... It is really amazing just how other people can better understand a situation that you are in wheras you have all sorts of things clouding your thoughts when actually experiencing it.

Anyway...I've gotten slightly off topic... The woman. I can't read her. I can not think of a single female I haven't been able to read/understand either right off the bat at LEAST within a first meeting. In my old age i've grown comfortable with this way of going about my female business. Sure...it has gotten me next to nowhere. But i never said knowing what's going on allows you to execute the right move at the right time at the right moment. And lets not forget girls from the age of 18-25 are not amazingly smart (supposedly a part of male/female brain used for judgement becomes innactive when you hit puberty and does not return till somewhere between 23-27... As my mom likes to say "i'm still waiting for you to get your brain back")

So what does all this unassuredness mean? It means that I'm totally captivated with the challenge... That was kinda a hard statement to admit (even if nobody's gonna see it but me) I'm intrigued by someone who has so many extrinsic attributes that I REALLY look for in a girl. But at the same time won't let me break her (fully... i am still "bighak"). So basically i sit here annoyed that I've even spent the time to put such thought into one person, enough to type about it. And then the fact that I now have to go through juvinile games (i ABHORE games more then a 14 yr old diabetic kid with asthma, glasses and overall lack of coordination that will probably lead him to a life behind a desk) because I moved my king out of position too early (chess) and now i have to proceed to bring out the stank treatment by ignoring and witholding emotion... Serves the b*^&h right... We'll see whether anything comes of all this. If not imma keep it movin like your bowels after eating a lot of ruffage (4.5 yrs as a kines major has greatly expanded my repetoir of metaphors).

In retrospect I find it really funny how the less attention I've shown to a female in my life the more success I have had (sometimes by accident). Even back in high school when not showing a girl attention was really me just not knowing how to "hit" on a girl this "technque" served me waaaaay better then it should have (i can't help that I look good...for all you ugly people out there the success may vary a tad more). Then upon entering college someone (my mom) put the idea in my head that I should actually be nice to girls. So the end result has been the wrong girls (most....not all) swangin from the ballzack. Even female scenario's that worked reasonably well essentially came from my indifference (when older) or general lack of openness (younger...ok maybe a lil older too) So basically what i'm saying is girls make guys act like dicks (and by that i mean just lay there in the cut then come to life when a move needs to be made....sorry...that was unneccesary forget i ever said that). As humans people tend to acclimate to whatever rewards them with the most success, for guys that ends up being treating the girl in a way less then they probably should be treated... Some guys stay treating the girls like this, others just protect themselves, but the ones who don't... Get walked over. Sad but true. This isn't just my opinion, I've talked to a NUMBER of males and females about this. And i'm pretty sure this is a certifiable fact.

Download the new John Legend song - Save Room

So i'm sitting here typing this because right now I'm nervous, I'm nervous because i have a REAL world interview of a job i might theoretically take. And frankly when I am anticipating something my mind becomes extremely hyper active. I'm not even gonna front like i might not have a slightly overactive mind anyway. So here i am typing away on blogspot eating some ice cream and a couple hostess cupcakes at 1 in the morning when in reality i should be getting ready for bed cuz i got a 10 am interview. But...f it. Instad i sit here wondering why in the world this fruit of the loom commercial has a man dressed as a apple singing about not over loving your underwear. Having said that...he sounds good. Who would've thought a man dressed in a apple costume could make loving your undewear sound good. I try to sing about your mom's drawal's (drawers) but for some reason it just ain't poppin' the same way.

I don't know where my random bouts of "ebonics" comes from. I think internally there is a battle between my bmore side and my columbia side so I end up mixing phrases such as "yo son...why was that dude bogarting the ball so much?" Actual phrase from yours truly. Bogarting (spell check) btw means "monopolizing" or in that context "hogging".

If there is one person out there who's personality I look at who I might pattern myself on or want to be like (you know if "big hak wasn't good enough). It would be Puff Daddy (ok...Jaime Foxx too...But lets focus) Maybe i'm unintensionally letting out a man crush here but that Puff has this amazing swagger that just commands respect everywhere he goes. And this is a dude who was born in VA and went to college at Howard. But he walks around KNOWING he's a G. Some people have an aura about them that makes people feel or look at you a certain way. I just look at that dude on tv and know a couple of things... One....My sister would immiedietely drop her drawers for him. Two... His hair cutter must make ALOT of dough for giving him hourly shapeups. (seroiusly...look at him...have you EVER seen him with a single hair out of line. Even on his goatee?) And three... He immiedetely gets respects from everyone he encounters. Swagger is that amazing thing that is abstract but incredibly tangible at the same time. Cuz you KNOW when somebody has it. You can feeeeeel it. You can see it. But if i asked you describe what makes somebody have it. I'd get the stuck face. I think one of the reasons so many athletes, entertainer's, and overall really rich people have people react to them with such awe, envy and respect (?) is how they carry themselves. An air of confidence goes a long way when talking to people. By about sophmore yr at CP I learned while playing basketball that when making a call if you say it with enough essertion (even if its blatantly wrong) people will go with what you say like 90% of the time. Same with answering a question from some random person or talking to a female. If you ACT like you know and say it like you were born doing it... Nobody questions you. Whether its right or wrong this is a big part of swagger. And why is swagger so important on a everyday basis? Because I estimate 85% (probably higher) of the people you encounter on a everyday basis don't have that 100% confidence in their physical, mental, emotional self to exhibit it. (Why do you think Donald Trump STILL wears that same tupee after all these years...He obviousely just doesn't care and is good with himself) I once...saw Micheal Jordan walking to his car (from a long distance) and just the swagger in his walk and the way he carried himself made me take another step back. (Seriously i actually tripped off the curb and got some wet kinda stankish curb juice on my fresh Keds...) Even from 100 yards away i knew... Micheal Jordan does not have "penis envy".

According some who see me on a everday basis I seem to have a lil swag. My little brother says i "walk cool" there's a general consensus from a couple girls/women (at what age do i start calling grown females "women") that I just "seem" like i have "a lot of female friends". That's all well and good but I want to make sure everytime I speak, walk into a room and just LOOK at somebody...Even with sunglasses on (i want you to be like "oooh sh*t I better be looking at big hak in the eye.....He might be looking at me) I want them to either think or know that I'm somebody and I need to recieve the kind of respect only given to somebody who is worth more your grandparents social security plans (rich grandparents).

Who would've thought that a random posting brought on by hyperness would've ended in me talking about Puffy and me walking tall swangin a big dick. (aka swagger)....No Karamo

Quote of the week from work:
Old dude (who also happens to be an alchohalic) comes from the bathroom up to the gym area of my clinic, on the way he stops by his therapist (female) who is standing next to another young therapist (female). Comment: "I'll have to tell *insert finance manager's name* not to overcharge me cuz my balls were getting a bath while i was in the bathroom.
*Proceeds to sing (in the tune of "do your ears hang low") "Do your balls hang low do they wabble to and fro...ect ect"
I kid you not...

Two of my favorite songs of all time is Tyrese "Sweet Lady" and "Lately"

Also..I am reaaaally kinda feelin' Justin Timberlake's new song "Sexyback". One...I like the double entendre in the name. Cuz i've always found a sexy back very sexy... I'm seroius... What's hotter then a girl with nice latissmuss dorsi (lats) or perhaps defined rhomboids. Aaaaaaand of course a big phat phatty. But yeah...the song is all super funky fresh and it makes me want to get my "cool walk" on. Oooor perhaps watch the club scene from Blade.

I'm a fan JT